Conflict on the playground. Two kids fighting over a toy shovel in the sandbox.
TikToker Kiara Blanco thinks it’s “cruel” for kids to not share toys at the playground, and the internet won’t have it.
“Don’t bring toys to the park unless your kids and you are ready and willing to share,” Blanco, the mother of a toddler, said in a TikTok video. “I don’t think it’s fair that you’re going to bring toys to a place where there’s going to be a bunch of kids and you are not willing to share the toys with the other kids. I feel like that’s just wrong.”
Blanco added, “I don’t think people should take toys to the park at all because of that whole situation. And yes, people need to know, ‘OK, this is mine’ .... but at the same time, I feel like that’s just cruel.”
“So, how about we leave the toys at home or be willing to share those toys? I don’t know what you guys think — I might be the only person with this opinion. But I’ve seen it too many times when I go to the park and we don’t take toys to the park because of that reason.”
Most of Blanco’s commenters heartily disagreed.
- “How about you teach your child that they aren’t entitled to playing with someone else’s toys?”
- “Don’t bring your purse unless you’re willing to share what’s in there!”
- “Should we also bring the entire park snacks, milk, blankets (and) chairs?”
- “Being forced to share is a root cause of becoming a people pleaser, saying ‘Yes’ because you’re afraid of upsetting or disappointing someone by establishing boundaries.”
- “It’s not my responsibility to raise your child and teach them boundaries!”
- “Completely disagree. Last summer I let other kids play with the water toys I brought and they ended up broken (and) the other parents didn’t care. I no longer share with kids I don’t know.”
- “Sharing is important. But so is saying, ‘Sorry, I don’t want to share right now’ and dealing with that disappointment and getting over it.”
- “Nah my kid (is) autistic and he carries his Spider-Man around everywhere. I think parents need to teach their kids to understand certain situations.”
- “Yes, this is why I don’t let my kids bring toys anywhere but the house and car. They are too young to understand how to share.”
- “Life isn’t fair. Teach them young.”
Blanco tells TODAY.com that sharing is a primary principle.
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“We go to the park a few times a week and we see kids who share and who don’t share with others — that’s understandable as they’re little,” she says.
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Blanco warns her son that if he brings toys to the park, he should share with other kids; if he later decides against it and she senses an argument, she might hold the toy so it’s out of the picture.
“Other times, I don’t bring his toys to avoid the whole scenario,” she says.
When another child doesn’t want to share toys with her son, Blanco redirects him to another activity.
“I don’t want to make other kids feel bad (for not sharing),” she says.
Should kids share their toys at the park?
Kids don’t have to share their toys, especially with children they don’t know personally, Francyne Zeltser, the clinical director of mental health and testing services at Manhattan Psychology Group, tells TODAY.com.
“If a child brings a toy to the park and actively engages with it, there should be no expectation of sharing,” she says. “However, if a child brings a toy or a bucket of toys and abandons them out in the open, they should expect for other children to play.”
Kids usually make their feelings known verbally, she says — “We’re playing with this, but you can have a turn later” or “We’re playing with this” — or through body language, like clutching a toy to their chest or shaking their head.
Saying no, adds Zeltser, is a skill that children should learn.
“It’s challenging because it’s not just about saying ‘No’ — which many children have no problem saying — it’s about the other child receiving and accepting ‘No,’” she says.
Zelster suggests making a plan before going to the park.
“Decide what you are bringing and how your child would feel if the item gets dirty, lost, broken or shared,” she says. “We want children to become more autonomous as they grow and feel proud of themselves for solving their own problems.
If your child is meeting a friend at the park, says Zeltser, communicate your plan with the other parent.
Blanco says she won’t budge on teaching her son to share.
“With appropriate boundaries,” she says, “sharing is a good, fundamental value.”
This story first appeared on TODAY.com. More from TODAY:
