![Alua Arthur speaks onstage during the premiere of the Disney+ original series from National Geographic, Limitless With Chris Hemsworth, at Jazz at Lincoln Center in New York City on November 15, 2022.](https://media.nbcchicago.com/2024/07/108008599-1721336369467-gettyimages-1441801295-ms1_1501_1da0c7f6-ecfd-4139-9ce2-48e8d4d767a6.jpeg?quality=85&strip=all&resize=320%2C180)
Accepting the reality that everyone dies eventually is an important step toward appreciating the life you have left to live. It can help make the rest of your days more fulfilling and meaningful, author and "death doula" Alua Arthur told "The Happiness Lab," a podcast hosted by Yale University psychology professor Laurie Santos, last week.
Arthur's advice: Stand in front of a mirror, look into your eyes and repeat to yourself, "I'm going to die."
The exercise can be "a little confronting," Arthur acknowledged. But the mindset shift can have many beneficial effects: Embracing mortality leads people to be more compassionate, mindful and driven to achieve their goals in life, Santos said.
Arthur is the founder of Going With Grace, a Los Angeles-based end-of-life planning and support organization, and author of "Briefly Perfectly Human: Making an Authentic Life by Getting Real About the End," which was published in April.
"If we can get more comfortable with the fact that living and dying is also happening ... it maybe eases a bit of that fear" of death, she said on the podcast.
Arthur has spoken to hundreds of individuals about their final stages of life. One of her top takeaways: Too often, people focus on trying to construct meaning in their lives, rather than finding meaning in "the little things that bring us joy," she said.
"Grounding in my mortality means that at some point I won't have access to all these senses anymore," Arthur said. "And so, how cool is it that I can feel cold on my hands? How cool is it that I have plates for me to eat off of?"
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The concept of death awareness, or reminding yourself of your mortality, dates back at least to ancient Greek and Roman philosophy. It can put your life in perspective and motivate you to make the most of what you have, added Jodi Wellman, author of the book "You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets," during the podcast episode.
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"An astonishing life doesn't just happen to us. We have to take action towards it, but sometimes taking that bold step, it does take courage," Wellman said.
Her favorite possession is a coin engraved with the Latin phrase memento mori, meaning, "Remember you must die." Whenever she finds the coin in her purse, Wellman says to herself, "I am going to die soon."
"It's just that little, subtle reminder that says, 'Oh, yeah, right, we're temporary,'" she said.
To live a more satisfying life, it helps to anticipate possible regrets of omission, or "pre-grets" — things you wish you'd done but never ultimately did, Wellman wrote for CNBC Make It earlier this month.
Recline in bed, take a deep breath and identify your pre-grets, she suggested. Make a list, circling the entries that particularly matter to you. Then you can begin brainstorming your next move.
"An unflinching awareness of your pre-grets can change the trajectory of your life," Wellman wrote. "That's because we don't have to continue down the paths we're on and resign ourselves to regrets of omission. We don't have to merely imagine the paths not taken."
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