Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and bring out your fatwagon. LET’S GO!
THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW – 4:00PM (Syndicated) For 25 years, Oprah Winfrey has been inspiring millions of gullible Americans by way of talking about herself constantly. It’s a neat little trick, one anyone else out there will be hard-pressed to duplicate. So savor the flavor today as Oprah finishes off her dominant run in daytime with a final episode that will likely feature some surprise guests and old friends. But in the end, it will be about Oprah and Oprah alone. That’s Oprah’s deal. She’s amazingly successful, and she has all kinds of famous friends, and you’re supposed to sit there and celebrate that fact. Why? Hey, don’t ruin the illusion for everyone with your questions, bucko! ANTICIPATION: NO MO OPRAH!
AMERICAN IDOL – 8:00PM (FOX) Tonight it comes down to Scotty (Too Hottie!) McCreery vs. Lauren Alaina to decide who gets a record deal and then is forgotten about four weeks later. Both singers are under 18 and both work primarily in the country music genre. So when CMT hosts seventeen award shows in consecutive weeks later this winter, you know where you’ll be able to find these two. And let’s pause a moment to give props to J-Lo and S-Ty (I came up with that just now!) for keeping Idol atop the ratings when most everyone thought they would fail. Pretty impressive, until Simon and Paula return in the fall and the show gets wiped off the map. ANTICIPATION: HIGH!
MODERN FAMILY – 9:00PM (ABC) Ugh, the season finale. Nooooooooo!!!! I need 52 new episodes of this show a year. ANTICIPATION: BITTERSWEET!
MAN VS. FOOD NATION – 9:00PM (Travel Channel) Travel Channel has given “Man vs. Food” its very own spinoff. And here I thought the only thing this show would spin off would be diabetes and coronary heart failure. ANTICIPATION: GORGING!
SOUTH PARK – 10:00PM (Comedy Central) Cartman works with crack babies. Everything about that premise just boils over with promise. ANTICIPATION: CRACKY!